Ok so it was amazing, Matt was back, albeit briefly, from Luxembourg (where he's driving for a TV production for the majority of June)...and we’re sitting in the waiting room - with NO worries (or hardly any) waiting for HAPPY SCAN NUMBER TWO, except the nurse was not happy, and every time I laughed at something; the way the baby was moving, or how funny it's mouth looked doing fish impressions, she tutted as the monitor reflected my shaking mirth, and she was not able to ‘do her job properly' but who cares about her - this is OUR BABY, and the experience of seeing it move at the same time as feeling it move - was AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, and the whole thing made us both so happy we cried, not at the same time, or even when we were together, but it was intense nonetheless!
So now we're half way, and half way I feel, both in size and in my journey to completely motherhoodcrazy...
The other week I saw a woman on the train station, with her child in the buggything, and JUST as her train was pulling in she decided to make a phone call, so with her phone under her chin, and bags hanging off the back of the buggything swinging wildly she attempted, failed and got offered assistance in getting on the train...this might seem like a 'nothing occurrence' and to all parents out there a drop in the ocean of the normality of insanemotherdom, but to me it was an example of things to come. Kiss goodbye to the featherlike grip I've had on sanity/practicability or even normality for most of my life and say hello to crazymum.....oh dear god!
So, my sister-in-law sunk to MY level of dizziness when she first got pregnant with number one 6 years ago, and although there have been hints of it passing (in between pregnancies etc) & now with three children she has never quite got back to the sane woman she was before (I know she's gonna read this, and will take no offence at this whatsoever - in fact I know she loves who she's become and is cool with it!) BUT that's not the point, I STARTED at this level - so what depths of crazy am I going to sink to?? HELP!...NO really - HELP!!!!
Signs of Crazy so far:
1) Some small (really small like 4'3'') guy came up from behind me whilst I was walking to work to ask directions to PC world, and I screamed – LOUDLY! (pregnancy? or fact that I was mugged...not sure), think I scared him more than he made me freak out! But I feel jumpy and overly protective of my unborn child – and not much is required to make me go into HIGH ALERT these days…
2) Went into Mothercare for bra yesterday, & they did not have, could not order the size I needed, assistant then sat on hold to a diff store for 20 mins, whilst I was continually being asked 'are you in the queue' and moving to various positions to show that i was not in the bloomin’ queue! (lots of tutting!) and THEN the assistant hung up - cos SHE was bored, proceeded to tell me this - I looked at her with THAT look....and walked out the store in a huff, doing a wheel spin out of the car park for the benefit of the two MCare employees having a fag in the car park...then called my sister and when asked 'are you ok' simply burst into tears. 'no...ooooooooooooooooo' and told her what happened....completely normal of course, she did the same, but swore and it was in front of our parents!
3) Had a cherry last night, accidentally bought s’bury’s basics, and bit into one, saw a white wiggly thing and rushed into the bathroom, completely ‘removed’ dinner, and was VERY worried for a long time, until my pal Rhyd kindly informed me that NO, the baby was not going to be fighting off an army of white wiggly things with it’s bare hands…my stomach acid would see them off before they got anywhere near! I knew this; of course I knew this – but the image of my poor baby having to defend itself against horrible creatures invading its space, due to the ineptitude of the farmers who provide basic fruit – which I WILL NEVER buy again…was just too much for me to bear!
So now we're half way, and half way I feel, both in size and in my journey to completely motherhoodcrazy...
The other week I saw a woman on the train station, with her child in the buggything, and JUST as her train was pulling in she decided to make a phone call, so with her phone under her chin, and bags hanging off the back of the buggything swinging wildly she attempted, failed and got offered assistance in getting on the train...this might seem like a 'nothing occurrence' and to all parents out there a drop in the ocean of the normality of insanemotherdom, but to me it was an example of things to come. Kiss goodbye to the featherlike grip I've had on sanity/practicability or even normality for most of my life and say hello to crazymum.....oh dear god!
So, my sister-in-law sunk to MY level of dizziness when she first got pregnant with number one 6 years ago, and although there have been hints of it passing (in between pregnancies etc) & now with three children she has never quite got back to the sane woman she was before (I know she's gonna read this, and will take no offence at this whatsoever - in fact I know she loves who she's become and is cool with it!) BUT that's not the point, I STARTED at this level - so what depths of crazy am I going to sink to?? HELP!...NO really - HELP!!!!
Signs of Crazy so far:
1) Some small (really small like 4'3'') guy came up from behind me whilst I was walking to work to ask directions to PC world, and I screamed – LOUDLY! (pregnancy? or fact that I was mugged...not sure), think I scared him more than he made me freak out! But I feel jumpy and overly protective of my unborn child – and not much is required to make me go into HIGH ALERT these days…
2) Went into Mothercare for bra yesterday, & they did not have, could not order the size I needed, assistant then sat on hold to a diff store for 20 mins, whilst I was continually being asked 'are you in the queue' and moving to various positions to show that i was not in the bloomin’ queue! (lots of tutting!) and THEN the assistant hung up - cos SHE was bored, proceeded to tell me this - I looked at her with THAT look....and walked out the store in a huff, doing a wheel spin out of the car park for the benefit of the two MCare employees having a fag in the car park...then called my sister and when asked 'are you ok' simply burst into tears. 'no...ooooooooooooooooo' and told her what happened....completely normal of course, she did the same, but swore and it was in front of our parents!
3) Had a cherry last night, accidentally bought s’bury’s basics, and bit into one, saw a white wiggly thing and rushed into the bathroom, completely ‘removed’ dinner, and was VERY worried for a long time, until my pal Rhyd kindly informed me that NO, the baby was not going to be fighting off an army of white wiggly things with it’s bare hands…my stomach acid would see them off before they got anywhere near! I knew this; of course I knew this – but the image of my poor baby having to defend itself against horrible creatures invading its space, due to the ineptitude of the farmers who provide basic fruit – which I WILL NEVER buy again…was just too much for me to bear!
1 comment:
What a very very sobering thought -my NumberOneBabySoonToBeMum Becky getting ScaryMumToBeCrazy! What I am most scared about is the thought 'will I notice any difference?'
See people do read your Blog!
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