Week 40 - and counting!

Just reading back on my last post I had to laugh...why did I believe that the baby would be AVERAGE? Although of course Bof is still safely tucked away inside, the midwife tells me 'it's a big-un!'...two weeks ago she reckoned it was 8lb already...let's wait and see though shall we?
So Now officially a lady of leisure, well until 2 becomes 3 in any case, although leisure time has thus far not been all that leisurely, but of course made ever so much easier with parents arriving from Israel, and literally off the plane began to tidy the flat, paint the flat, and take me shopping....what WOULD I DO without them...

It's a good thing I am off work too...for a number of reasons;

1) I was still running for trains when I was late, one time scaring the wits out of an entire carriage as I was heavy breathing from bounding up the stairs and holding my tummy...I must of looked like I was in last stages of labour to them!

2) I am now at that balling my eyes out at least once a day stage, much to Matt's amusements, once he has determined YET again that there is in fact NOTHING AT ALL the matter..

3) Baby brain has now completely taken hold, and it was not until we had reached Cornwall for the wedding we attended this weekend, that we realised that although we had: baby seat, baby bag, hospital bag with breast pads and nursing bras galore, all for a baby that MIGHT put in an appearance, we had left behind in London: outfits to wear for the wedding along with other such necessary items as contact lens case/solution and my daily medicine for my over active thyroid (which bof needs too of course) what fun we had on Sat am replacing all these items before the wedding began!

33 week scan

Can you see what it is yet?

This is hot off the press, the latest pictures of 'The Bof' at our 33 week growth scan. An official 4lb 3oz and that's NORMAL - AVERAGE/// i.e. Good! ...NOT TOO BIG (Phew)...Hurrah, not that anyone was really worried!

So whilst Bof is growing away at a nice 'Average' rate our lives outside that wonderful bubble of security and warmth are upside down, we are what they refer to as "NESTING" after 6 1/2 years at 6a Cintra Park, we have started to change everything...wooden flooring, carpets, painting, new bathroom, new front door and hope of hopes...making room for a nursery! Its great fun though, and the other night, as we simply could not get to ANYTHING in the kitchen apart from the fridge, and there was exposed concrete floor in the sitting room, with no TV connection etc, we camped out in the bedroom, and had a nice picnic of bread, cheese and coleslaw on the bed watching Fraser, what a great memory to have!

August and in the THIRD TRIMESTER!

Now I know I look HUUUUUWGE, but it REALLY is just the fact that I got confused with the European sizing in France and SOMEONE told me that 40 was 14...It's NOT it's 12 - booby and bulging or wot!

So apparently 'The Bof' is now a whopping 40cm, I can believe it, as I now have to stop eating BEFORE I am full up, which would be great IF everyone in my lovely family weren't such great cooks!

France was lovely, great time away with our mates, and totally and utterly made the most of the time we had to relax, in fact every time I had a couple of hours where I could just laze by the pool and read my book I did think to myself that it would be approximately 20 years before I would be able to do this again.

Developments since last post:

- Full on jumping out of chairs when kicked/thumped in ribs by 'The Bof', which sometimes is so forceful it makes people in the same room as me jump as well.

- Ribs have started the slow discomforting journey outwards - seriously, my RIBS MOVE?! No one told me that!

- My brain is continuing to reduce in size, examples FAR to numerous to mention, but at least it's been proven to actually happen in 'small clinical trials' - and it's NOT JUST ME!

- Realised I am completely mental, when I ended up in floods of tears when NO ONE offered me their seat on the train one evening on the way home last week, and I had to stand up till Streatham (15 mins from Clapham. One bloke I even caught, looking up, seeing my huge bump and then quickly closing his eyes pretending he was asleep! The problem is, when I DO get a seat I think that the world is a wonderful place and that everyone in it is lovely and sweet, this time I went entirely for the opposite viewpoint, and thought the world to be the most horrible place, and everyone in it inherently evil! I got so upset in fact that I JUST ABOUT held it together (although tears were welling) till I got home, collapsed on the bed in floods of tears, only just about managing to tell Matt it was nothing for him to worry about before he got on the phone to the midwife, or worse national rail?

Pics courtesy of Matty!

Feeling the baby....woweeee!

NO WONDER I CAN FEEL IT.....It's almost as big as my arse....and THAT's saying something!

So, now almost viable (at the end of this week...24) So can breathe a sigh of relief for having reached another landmark.

Was sitting on the sofa last night, and had my hand on my tummy when bof (more of that name later) started the nightly aerobics session I have come to really look forward to. I had been biding my time for when Matt could feel bof too, as I have had the bubbles/inner farts for weeks now and the occasional sharp pinch. BUT I had not been thinking I wonder what it feels like on the outside, even though by this point Matt had felt movement. So when I felt the usual bubbles last night at the same time as REALLY FEELING the baby move around on the outside, it was a bit of a shock - but also so so WONDERFUL! And so much LESS ABSTRACT than the whole bubbles thing! A real bonding moment between me and the bof!

Ok - BOF, a brief explanation: Matt and Rhyd are working in Luxembourg this month, driving for a film production, and they have been sampling the local beers... Boffading has become a favourite, not because it's good, in ANY WAY, but purely because after hours and hours and hours of driving with only themselves for company, the name makes them giggle...not laugh....GIGGLE, and so when I said I was trying to stop calling the baby HE all the time...not because I think it's a boy, just because 'IT' is not appropriate, and 'The Baby' is a term people with a nanny use, before and after birth; 'please take the baby, it needs it's bath....' sort of thing..Anyway, BOFADING, BOF, THE BOF has evolved, and it's sort of stuck, so there you are!

20 weeks....they tell me I'm half way...half way what - to insanedom??

Ok so it was amazing, Matt was back, albeit briefly, from Luxembourg (where he's driving for a TV production for the majority of June)...and we’re sitting in the waiting room - with NO worries (or hardly any) waiting for HAPPY SCAN NUMBER TWO, except the nurse was not happy, and every time I laughed at something; the way the baby was moving, or how funny it's mouth looked doing fish impressions, she tutted as the monitor reflected my shaking mirth, and she was not able to ‘do her job properly' but who cares about her - this is OUR BABY, and the experience of seeing it move at the same time as feeling it move - was AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, and the whole thing made us both so happy we cried, not at the same time, or even when we were together, but it was intense nonetheless!

So now we're half way, and half way I feel, both in size and in my journey to completely motherhoodcrazy...

The other week I saw a woman on the train station, with her child in the buggything, and JUST as her train was pulling in she decided to make a phone call, so with her phone under her chin, and bags hanging off the back of the buggything swinging wildly she attempted, failed and got offered assistance in getting on the train...this might seem like a 'nothing occurrence' and to all parents out there a drop in the ocean of the normality of insanemotherdom, but to me it was an example of things to come. Kiss goodbye to the featherlike grip I've had on sanity/practicability or even normality for most of my life and say hello to crazymum.....oh dear god!

So, my sister-in-law sunk to MY level of dizziness when she first got pregnant with number one 6 years ago, and although there have been hints of it passing (in between pregnancies etc) & now with three children she has never quite got back to the sane woman she was before (I know she's gonna read this, and will take no offence at this whatsoever - in fact I know she loves who she's become and is cool with it!) BUT that's not the point, I STARTED at this level - so what depths of crazy am I going to sink to?? HELP!...NO really - HELP!!!!

Signs of Crazy so far:
1) Some small (really small like 4'3'') guy came up from behind me whilst I was walking to work to ask directions to PC world, and I screamed – LOUDLY! (pregnancy? or fact that I was mugged...not sure), think I scared him more than he made me freak out! But I feel jumpy and overly protective of my unborn child – and not much is required to make me go into HIGH ALERT these days…
2) Went into Mothercare for bra yesterday, & they did not have, could not order the size I needed, assistant then sat on hold to a diff store for 20 mins, whilst I was continually being asked 'are you in the queue' and moving to various positions to show that i was not in the bloomin’ queue! (lots of tutting!) and THEN the assistant hung up - cos SHE was bored, proceeded to tell me this - I looked at her with THAT look....and walked out the store in a huff, doing a wheel spin out of the car park for the benefit of the two MCare employees having a fag in the car park...then called my sister and when asked 'are you ok' simply burst into tears. 'no...ooooooooooooooooo' and told her what happened....completely normal of course, she did the same, but swore and it was in front of our parents!
3) Had a cherry last night, accidentally bought s’bury’s basics, and bit into one, saw a white wiggly thing and rushed into the bathroom, completely ‘removed’ dinner, and was VERY worried for a long time, until my pal Rhyd kindly informed me that NO, the baby was not going to be fighting off an army of white wiggly things with it’s bare hands…my stomach acid would see them off before they got anywhere near! I knew this; of course I knew this – but the image of my poor baby having to defend itself against horrible creatures invading its space, due to the ineptitude of the farmers who provide basic fruit – which I WILL NEVER buy again…was just too much for me to bear!

Note from my father

As I know many people do not tend to read comments on blogs I wanted to share with you the comment made by my father.

" Naturally we are more than delighted about the reason for this blog, the smallest member of our family (as of now). We want you to know that we remember how we felt when we were in this position and YOU were the object of our amazement, and are overjoyed to share your feelings that so closely resemble ours then "

Thanks Dad!

On another note, I have had a pretty hectic day, and the bump was really digging his heels in, and on a full bladder too...and in a moment of madness I had harsh words and told my unborn child to 'stop it!' My goodness am I a disciplinarian in the making? What a thought!

Baby now 6' from head to bum - not sure what piece of fruit that relates to though? Answers on a postcard...

Basic Facts:
- Baby now the size of an Avocado - but as mum quite rightly pointed out, if it was an Israeli avocado it would be a hell of a lot bigger than the ones we get here!
- Baby is moving A LOT, and I can now feel it, more than just fluttering but not yet full-on kicking.
- Heard the heart beat for the first time today, was very strong, so much so that the Midwife commented "That's very strong for 16 weeks and 3 days!", she was very precise about other things too.
- I am now getting to a dangerously high emotional state, but more of that below.

So we are now well into Month Four (16 weeks and 3 days), and have been feeling the baby move around for about 2 weeks now. I am growing quite a lot as, I am told, is the little one inside me. The sharp twinges I have just started feeling are even more than the fluttering which is a bit like when you are nervous and your tummy does a little butterfly flip.

From my point of view my tummy looks huge looking down on it, but I am pretty certain that from the front it is pretty non existent and from the side I just look, well.. fat...so the fact that two people have now given their seat up for me on the train I can only put down to the way I rub my tummy in a often futile attempt to 'look pregnant'…as was the situation on Monday morning:

I was going in for a half eight meeting, yes on Monday morning - I KNOW!? And the train was absolutely packed so I was standing up. And after two stops of me getting increasingly grumpy and absently doing the tummy rubbing thing, a nice young lady stood up and offered me her seat, well I was a little astonished, and caught off guard I sat down mumbling something like " umm, your very kind...umm". I then spent the next ten minutes biting my lip trying not to burst into tears like a complete moron! These sudden and very guttural emotions are still taking me by surprise, but I managed to only let a few stray tears seep out. I managed to finally thank the young woman as she was leaving the train at Kew, she was of course very nice about it, but I'm sure she thought I was the rudest pregnant person ever!

Anyway, here’s to a slightly less stressful week next week with my crazy late nights working in town becoming a vague distant memory and the kitchen sink draining as it is supposed to! Oh yeah and I’ll be 33, which of course is just so much better than 32.(that’s what I’m telling myself anyway, so shush, no comment…as I believe it!)

Going into the 2nd Trimester, for the 1st time...

Our unborn child, it's similarity to the Roswell alien is NOT freakin' me out - HONEST!

As I am now 14/15 weeks into my second pregnancy (no kids yet) and am finally past that nauseous/exhausted/paranoid phase for the first time, and I suddenly have the energy and wherewithal to do anything more than the bare minimum, I wanted to create a place where my thoughts could be caught for posterity and shared with those people I cared about. As those who know me already understand, I am generally not so good at sharing my thoughts and feelings out loud, and felt this would be an ideal 'new world' forum for doing such a thing. That said, perhaps this blog should come with a warning - "Hormones on Board"!?

At the top of this page, you can see the image of our unborn child, and although this one looks a tad alien-esk...the actual experience itself of seeing our child moving around for the first time was like nothing I ever thought it would or could be, I was more nervous leading up to the week 12 scan than I was before speaking at a conference of 200 people or singing a song that I had not rehearsed and did not even know the lyrics to, in a school concert when I was 14! I was almost crying with the fright of it all. I could not even look at the monitor until I saw the look of utter joy in Matty's (husband/light of my life/best friend) face, and even then my initial thought was, is that from the woman before me? Surely that's not mine? BUT IT WAS, it was out little baby Yelland, wiggling about and kicking its legs as if it was trying to say 'hiya!' - Oh what relief, what joy, what insurmountable happiness, that has not so much ebbed away in the following weeks, but become a normality, and that, after weeks/months of verging on the petrified-worrying, is what it means to be in the blissful throws of pregnancy. I am so glad we made it, as I know are all our friends and family.

I will not dwell on the continued hormonal imbalances that plague (well Matt more than me) our lives...nor will I bang on about my continued smelling issues and inability to eat a full meal, as these are insignificant and I must remember that! What matters is that there is a little life growing inside of me, and in six months time we are going to be parents, and we are equally looking forward to and dreading this change in our lives, and Matt swings from saying things like “I am never going to be able to put our baby to bed” to “this was your idea!!”…